A few years back I made the connection between my infrequent mood swings, depression and euphoria states which followed, to the lack of sleep that triggered it. Insomnia was a battle ever since I was a child. Now I am making the connection between my anger and cognitive abilities, difficulty concentrating, memory problems to leaky gut. Candida overgrowth punctures the intestinal walls causes undigested protein to enter the bloodstream and create neurological problems and physical illness. Being in a constant state of oxidative stress from environmental toxins was a trigger causing my over stressed body and mind to tip over into chronic inflammation and auto immune illnesses.
Hyperosmia, one of the facets of Multiple chemical sensitivity (MCS) feels like a chemical warfare assault on the senses. It is a horrible feeling of being constantly violated by the surroundings. Gutsy Beautiful Complicated explains in her blog that this heightened sensitivity to smell may be related to a continuous state of fight or flight response, a mechanism that protect us from danger. Unresolved childhood trauma is stored in our muscle tissue and cell memory, not just our mental memory bank. Whatever the trigger, the body reacts by releasing cortisol. As Dr John Bergman explains, when we don’t have enough antioxidant intake, our body produces its own. As a result we suffer from physiological and neurological manifestation of symptoms.
This got my brain juices flowing, pondering on weather any of this could also relate to other mental trauma or PTSD. Could it be that I have been so stressed for so long and not have known about it enough to connect the dots? For years I have said that I am in survival mode. I may have never fully understood the full extent of what I was saying and the implications of me believing so fiercely that the world around me is unsafe. Emotion and smell are tightly connected; stimulus and fear. This explains it all so perfectly. I never thought that I would have an answer as to why or how this is happening. My first known reaction that happened directly near the offending chemicals at work was ear pain. It happened twice. That was enough to freak me out in a way that I used extra precaution measures to remove all toxins out of my household and basically do anything in my power to be away from them anywhere I went. It scared me due to past ear problems with hearing and middle ear infection causing debilitating vertigo. Everything happens for a reason, and these reasons are starting to reveal themselves.